


Avengers group chat

by ScxrletWidowXx



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers Family, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Don't Read This, Gen, Hunger Games References, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, Marvel Universe, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Read, Superfamily, Superfamily (Marvel), What Have I Done, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-15 11:20:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21252548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScxrletWidowXx/pseuds/ScxrletWidowXx
Summary: Peter Parker creates an avengers group chat and nobody knows what is going on.Together they have a lot of fun, laughter, and happiness. (That's what you will feel if you read this)A lot of pop culture references, and 4th wall breaks.(I can't write summaries lmao)Just read this cause I'm funny. I am.Am I?•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•Requests are open, so please request, lmao-*Also posted on Wattpad, so if you want to read it there go ahead, the story has the same name, and I got the same username.





	1. It's time to create the chat!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter creates the group chat! 💟

**Spooderman added Mr. Stank, Capsicle, Legolas, Mama spider, Scarlet bitch, Metal arm, Birdman, and ** **Green bean to the group: "Avengers group chat"**

**Mr****. Stank: **Kid wtf is that?

**spooderman: **its a group chat mr stank!

**Mr. Stank: **nononononono plz tell me that rhodey didnt tell you

**spooderman: **hehehhe and i oop-

**Mama spider:** NO VSCO ARE ALLOWED

**Legolas: **OMG NAT YOUR NICKNAME

**Mama spider:** Shut it, katniss.

**Spooderman:** BAHAHAHAHA im definitely gonna use this

**Spooderman changed the nickname "legolas" to "Katniss"**

**Metal arm:** LMFAO

**Capsicle**: Lmfao?

**Metal arm:** laughing my fucking ass off you idiot

**Green bean:** He is not an idiot, he is just old.

**Capsicle:** Ouch.

**Metal arm:** im old and i know this

**Capsicle**: Dubble ouch.

**Birdman:** wait what kind of ass?^

**Scarlet bitch:** america's ass, duh.

**Mr. Stank:** wow and im definitely gonna use this. Kid, admin me.

**Spooderman gave admin permissions to Mr. Stank**

**Mr. Stank changed the nickname "Capsicle" to "America's Ass"**

**America's ass:** Thank you, Tony.

**Katniss:** ew he is using grammar

**Mama spider:** shut up before i kill you

**Metal arm:** we talked about it, natasha. We dont kill friends.

**Mama spider:** i guess that choking will be enough this time

**Katniss**: come and get me natas- hlsng7!jdn@lsn2pw

**Mama spider:** Done.

**Scarlet bitch:** good job nat

**Mama spider:** Well thank you Wanda.

**Green bean:** I feel like we are missing something...

**America's Ass**: Maybe it's Thor? He is in Ass-gard.

**Birdman**: super funny, cap

**Spooderman**: Ooohohoooh right, i forgot about him

**Spooderman added Blondie to the group**

**Blondie**: HELLO MY FRIENDS.

**Katniss**: ew. Caps off, thor.

**Blondie**: WHAT IS THE "CAPS"?

**Scarlet bitch:** ok stop yelling

**America's Ass:** I'm old and I know what caps are.

**Metal arm**: he is older

**America's Ass:** #OOF

**Mr. Stank**: you need to tap that arrow key, thor.

**Katniss**: someone said ARROWS?!?!?

**Mama spider:** ugh, i thought you were dead and i was actually happy.

**Spooderman**: mood

**Blondie**: Oh, I found it. Well, me and Loki have work to do. I'll talk with you all later!

**Birdman**: ok, but dont leave the grou-

**Blondie has left the group chat**

**Spooderman**: i-

**Mr. Stank**: i-

**Mama spider**: i-

**Metal arm**: i-

**Katniss**: i-

**America's ass**: I-

**Scarlet bitch:** i-

**Green bean**: I-

**Birdman**: i-

**Katniss**: i-

**Scarlet bitch**: you already said "i-"

**Katniss**: oh right

**America's ass:** Welp.

**Mr. Stank**: welp.

**Spooderman**: welp, im going to sleep and when I wake up i wanna see that ALL OF YOU are still in this group

**Metal arm**: i think ill leave now

**Mama spider**: nooooo stayyyyy

**Metal arm**: ok ill stay for you ❤️

**Katniss**: ewwww get a roo- bdksusjk7idhd2gn&o@l

**Mr. Stank**: good night, kid

**Spooderman**: gn <3

**Everyone is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this one was short, pointless, and with no interesting stuff, but don't worry. I will start adding fun stuff to the next chapters.


	2. Karaoke night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The avengers are having a karaoke night, and nobody can actually sing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. They are singing and typing the lyrics. Yes. That makes sense. Mhm. Sure.

**Everyone is online**

**Spooderman: **OMG

**Mr. Stank**: WHAT HAPPEND

**Spooderman**: oh nothing i was just surprised that nobody has left the chat

**Green bean**: My brain has.

**Scarlet bitch**: ooOooOoO

**Birdman**: #BruceTheKing

**Katniss**: wait, bruce? I thought that green bean was gamora

**Spooderman**: wha-

**Mama spider**: ffs clint why in the world whould you think that?

**Katniss**: idk, green is her skin colour

**Metal arm**: i-

**Spooderman**: ok everyone i have an announcement to make! Ill just add thor first

**Spooderman added "Blondie" to the group**

**Blondie**: Hello, my friends!

**Mr. Stank:** what is it kid?

**Spooderman**: sooooo i was thinking of doing something fun, like, just us...

**America's ass**: Like...?

**Spooderman**: ummm a karaoke night, maybe?

**Mr. Stank**: absolutely no

**Katniss**: absolutely yes

**Scarlet bitch**: omg yessss

**Metal arm**: idk, im with tony in this one.

**Mama spider:** no youre not

**Metal arm**: no im not

**Blondie**: That will be lovely, I already chose my song.

**Mr. Stank**: nobody is choosing songs because nobody is having a karaoke night. ON MY DEAD BODY.

**Katniss**: on his dead body? Nat!

**Mama spider**: on it!

**Mr. Stank**: nO-

**America's ass**: nobody is killing anybody.

**Katniss**: any*body*, no*body*

**Green bean:** Clint-

**Spooderman**: EVERYBODY SHUT UP! WE ARE HAVING A KARAOKE NIGHT TONIGHT AND THATS NOT A QUESTION

**Blondie**: You heard the kid.

**Spooderman**: ye u heard me

**Mr. Stank**: ughhh jfc ok whatever. But im not singing.

**Spooderman**: we will see about that...😏

**Everyone is offline**

**Everyone is online**

**Mr. Stark**: we didnt even start yet and im already regretting this

**Spooderman**: it will be alrightttttt relaxxxxx

**America's ass**: So, who is going first?

**Katniss**: whoever sings the best.

**Green bean**: Who is it?

**Katniss**: take a guess 

**Green bean**: Natasha?

**Katniss**: no

**Green bean**: Thor?

**Katniss**: no

**Green bean**: Sam?

**Katniss**: no...

**Green bean**: is it ste-

**Katniss**: FFS BRUCE ITS ME

**Green bean**: oH-

**Birdman**: yea sure, like it's true.

**Katniss**: IT IS

**Metal arm**: show us, and we will decide

**Katniss**: oh so its a competition now?

**Mama spider**: yep.

**America's ass**: Let the kid be the judge. By the end of this evening, he will decide who wins.

**Mr. Stank**: What will the winner get?

**Blondie**: Respect.

**Scarlet bitch**: nobody wants that, thor.

**Mama spider**: ok, i have an idea. The winner will get to choose which movie we are watching tomorrow, in the movie night.

**Mr. Stank**: oh so we are having a movie night too now?

**Spooderman**: OMG YES

**Mr. Stank**: i didnt sign up to this

**Metal arm**: you did when you decided not to leave this group yesterday

**Mr. Stank**: kill me

**Mama spider**: i would love to

**Metal arm:** Natasha...

**Mama spider**: sorry :(

**Birdman**: omg, just start already

**Katniss**: ok ok, im going on the stage...

**Scarlet bitch**: you better be bad, or we will have to watch "brave" tomorrow...

**Katniss**: i was actually planning to watch hunger games, but brave is also good

**America's ass**: well we wont need to choose becasue u are not winning

**Katniss**: 

1) we will see about that

2) where is your grammar old man

**America's ass:** idk, maybe the author got sick of using grammar all the time

**Green bean**: yeah i get her. well ill go easy on her and will stop using grammar too

**Blondie**: me too

**Birdman**: it will not help, she needs to write our names in bold anyways, its hard enough

**Katniss**: oK BUT CAN WE STOP TALKING ABOUT THE AUTHOR, AND START FOCUSING ON ME AND ON MY BEAUTIFUL VOICE?!???!?!!?!?

**Mama spider**: we hate you

**Mama spider**: Yes*** ugh omg this autocorrect-

**Katniss**: 😑

**Mr. Stank**: jfc start or im setting my suit to kill you

**Katniss**: ok ok

<strike>Song number 1:</strike>

<strike>Hanging tree- Jennifer Lawrence</strike>

<strike>Hawkeye's version</strike>

"Are you, are you  
Coming to the tree  
They strung up a man  
They say who murdered three  
Strange things did happen here  
No stranger would it be  
If we met at midnight  
In the hanging tree"

**Mama spider**: are you fucking kidding me? Hunger games? Srsly?

**Katniss**: oh im im sorry, did you see me interrupting your song, and/or complaining about what you chose to sing?

**Mama spider**: i wasnt even up yet-

**Katniss**: yeah yeah, sure- 9nsnxhh62-@ksjxwi9kj;d

**Spooderman**: okkkkk while auntie nat is choking clint, lets get up to the stage.... Thor!

**Blondie**: thank you, thank you. So i was pondering if i should sing "call me" by Blondie, but now i know what song i shall sing.

**Scarlet bitch**: nobody actually care, thor

**Birdman**: true

**Green bean**: ^^

**Mr. Stank**: OMF if you wont start in the next 3 seconds ill start to throw tomatos

**Blondie**: ok ok, ill start.

**Mr. Stank**: 3...

2...

1...

<strike>Song number 2</strike>

<strike> Barbie girl - Aqua</strike>

<strike> Thor's version </strike>

"I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation"

**Katniss**: wait a second-

**Katniss**: FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE, I THOUGHT THAT WAS "AND DRESS ME" AND NOT "UNDRESS ME"

**Scarlet bitch**: same-

**Metal arm**: i remember when this song was released, it was 1997 and hydra was washing my brain in that beautiful day 

**Mama spider**: awhh my poor bucky :((( 💕❤️

**Metal arm**: nah, thats fine. Thats how i met you after all

**Mama spider**: ye and now i cant wear bikinis

**Katniss**: HAHAHAAahH yeah you probably look horrible in these

**Mama spider**: what were you saying?

**Katniss**: i was saying that you proba- ishswsn7&ofgq

**Mama spider**: hehehehhehe it never gets old

**America's ass**: ok, whos going up now?

**Mr. Stank**: ...

**America's ass**: great, so you are going up now

**Mr. Stank**: wait no-

**Scarlet bitch**: we will all do it in somepoint, so just do it now and get over with it

**Mr. Stank**: ugh ok, but im doing it only because i promised the kid

**Spooderman**: im the kid

<strike>Song number 3</strike>

<strike>Iron man - Black Sabbath</strike>

<strike>Iron man's version</strike>

"Now the time is here  
For iron man to spread fear  
Vengeance from the grave  
Kills the people he once saved"

"Heavy boots of lead  
Fills his victims full of dread  
Running as fast as they can  
Iron man lives again!"

**Mama spider**: yall have issues

**Birdman**: whats the problem

**Mama spider**: everybody is singing songs about them basically

**Green bean**: there is nothing wrong with that

**Scarlet bitch**: yeah if you want you can also sing a song about yourself

**Mama spider**: well, i wanted to sing "toxic" in Melanie Martinez's version, but i think that will work too

<strike> Song number 4:</strike>

<strike>Black widow - Iggy Azalea, Rita Ora</strike>

<strike>Black widow's version</strike>

"I'm gonna love you  
Until you hate me  
And I'm gonna show you  
What's really crazy  
You should've known better  
Then to mess with me, heartache  
I'm gonna lie to you, I'm gonna lie to you  
Gonna lie to you, gonna lie to you  
Like a black widow, baby"

**Birdman**: oh.my.god.

**America's ass**: omg nat your voice

**Spooderman**: made me cri

**Katniss**: yea but i was better

**Metal arm**: shut up before ill make you say "-jskew&opsdzxam"

**Scarlet bitch:** hey thats nat's thing

**Blondie**: natasha i appreciate your voice

**Mama spider:** thx(?)

**Green bean**: NAT WE NEED MORE FROM THAT

**Mama spider**: well, i guess i can continue...

"You used to be thirsty for me  
But now you wanna be set free  
This is the web, the web that you weave  
So baby now rest in peace"

**Birdman**: well now you just made it sound bad

**Katniss**: yeah u destroyed it nat

**Scarlet bitch**: stop, please.

**Spooderman**: someone said, "WEBS"?!?!?!

**Mr. Stank:** dont be clint

**Spooderman**: ok sorry mr stark

**America's ass**: ok whos next

**Green bean**: stop asking whos next, just get on that stage

**America's ass**: ok... 

"O, say can you see by the dawn's early light  
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?  
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,  
O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?"

**Mama spider**: uhhh i think the fuck not

**Katniss**: BAHAHAHHA

**Green bean**: why did you unplugged the mic and the speaker tho

**Mama spider:** because there is no way he is singing this

**America's ass**: ok, ok... I guess ill just sing this song instead:

<strike>Song number 5:</strike>

<strike>Kream - Iggy Azalea</strike>

<strike>Captain America's version</strike>

"Uh, open up the safe, bitches got a lot to say  
Pussy in your face, that'll put you in your place 

**Mama spider**: boom

  
Seven letters on the plate, fuck you when I brake 

**Mr. Stank**: bitch

  
I got cars, I got bags, I got real estate (Cash rules)  
Foreplay, I ain't come to play"

**Spooderman**: OMG MR CAPTAIN ROGERS STEVE SIR THAT WAS AMAZING

**Mama spider**: i admit it was really good, even tho Iggy Azalea is kinda my thing

**Scarlet bitch**: if i would be the judge, i would choose you to win. Or actually not, becasue then it means that we are watching "Schindler's list"

**Spooderman**: yeah im not ready for that

**Scarlet bitch**: ok, is it my turn now?

**America's ass**: i mean, if you want to...

<strike>Song number 6:</strike>

<strike>Dark horse - Katy Perry</strike>

<strike>Scarlet witch's version</strike>

"So you wanna play with magic  
Boy, you should know whatcha falling for  
Baby do you dare to do this  
'Cause I'm coming atcha like a dark horse"

**Metal arm**: wow. The talent.

**Spooderman**: this is an angel's voice

**Scarlet bitch**: yea yea whatever. Plz let someone else sing now.

**Green bean**: im coming

**Metal arm**: you better be bad. Im planning to watch "Frozen" tomorrow

**America's ass**: YES

**Mr. Stank**: there are 0 chances of me watching frozen tomorrow

**Spooderman**: not if he wins

**Katniss**: omg just let bruce sing already

<strike>Song number 7:</strike>

<strike>Radioactive - Imagine dragons</strike>

<strike>Hulk's version</strike>

<strike></strike>"I'm waking up to ash and dust

I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust

I'm breathing in the chemicals"

**Mama spider**: what a beautiful song

"I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones  
Enough to make my systems blow  
Welcome to the new age, to the new age  
Welcome to the new age, to the new age  
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I'm radioactive, radioactive  
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I'm radioactive, radioactive

**Metal arm:** oh no

**Mama spider**: whats wrong, honey?

**Metal arm**: i just realized its my turn to sing.

**Mama spider:** ok but why are you holding my hand, let it go-

**Metal arm:** EXACTLY

<strike> Song number 8: </strike>

<strike> Let it go - Idina menzel</strike>

<strike> Winter soldier's version </strike>

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight  
Not a footprint to be seen  
A kingdom of isolation  
And it looks like I'm the queen

**Katniss**: hahahahah he is the "queen"

**Mama spider**: i would choke you right now, but i dont want to interrupt his singing

Let it go, let it go  
I am one with the wind and sky  
Let it go, let it go  
You'll never see me cry  
Here I stand and here I stay  
Let the storm rage on

**Birdman**: what are you talking about? You cried just yesterday when wanda ate your cookie

**Metal arm**: IT WAS MY COOKIE

**Scarlet bitch**: ugh get over it, are you 3 or what?

**Mama spider**: wanda, honey, i appreciate us being the only girls in this shit, but say something like that again and i will be the only girl in here

**Katniss**: woohoo go natasha!

**Birdman**: ok, so i guess it is my turn?

**America's ass**: go ahead

**Birdman**: can i not

**Spooderman**: GO ON THAT STAGE ALREADY

**Birdman**: OK OK

<strike> Song number 9: </strike>

<strike> I believe I can fly - R. Kelly </strike>

<strike> Falcon's version </strike>

I believe I can fly  
I believe I can touch the sky  
I think about it every night and day  
Spread my wings and fly away  
I believe I can sore  
I see me runnin through that open door  
I believe I can fly  
I believe I can fly  
I believe I can fly

**Katniss**: well im happy that u can fly because im stuck on the floor

**Mama spider**: i cant fly and im proud

**Mr. Stank**: ok can we end this evening already?

**America's ass**: why?

**Mr. Stank**: Because.

**America's ass**: fair enough.  


**Spooderman**: ok, let me just sing my song first...

<strike> Song number 10 </strike>

<strike> Spider-man - Ramones </strike>

<strike> Spider-man's version </strike>

Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can  
Spins a web any size, catches thieves just like flies  
Look out, here comes the Spiderman

**Spooderman**: no wait

**Spooderman**:

Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can 

Everything is so dark

I dont feel good, Mr stark

Look now, here lies the spiderman

**Mr. Stank**: kid no-

**Spooderman**: kid yes

**Scarlet bitch**: kid yes, i loved it

**Spooderman**: thx i put a lot of effort in it. It didnt take me more than a minute.

**Katniss**: i dont know what i think about the new lyrics

**Mama spider**: thats the idea, nobody cares about your thoughts

**Katniss**: oh wow didnt come here to be attacked thx nat

**Mama spider**: youre welcome 💕

**Spooderman**: ok, before i choose the winner, i want all of us to sing one more song together.

**America's ass**: which song?

**Spooderman**: oh youll see.

<strike> Song number </strike> 11:

<strike> We didn't start the fire (Marvel version)</strike>

<strike> Avengers: Endgame's cast & Jimmy Fallon</strike>

<strike> Other avengers's version </strike>

<strike></strike> **Mr. Stank**: Tony stark iron man nick fury has a plan big shock pepper potts arc reactor core

**Blondie**: asgard ancient war loki and his brother thor

**Green bean**: bruce banner radiation transformation ROAR

**Katniss&Mama spider:** Coulson and maria hill theyre the agents of s.h.i.e.l.d

**Katniss**: clint barton hawkeye

**Mama spider**: black widow russian spy 

**America's ass**: captain rogers world war 2 bucky peggy i love you, first avenger here we go everyone assemble!

**Everyone**: 

We didn't start the fire  
It was always burnin' since the world's been turnin'  
We didn't start the fire  
No, we didn't light it, but we're tryin' to fight it

**Birdman**: war machine falcon spin

**Metal arm**: bucky barnes is back again

**Mama spider**: starlord gamora too drax rocket i am groot

**Scarlet bitch**: vision mantis nebula ultron and sokovia

**Scarlet bitch&Spooderman**: civil war antman scarlet witch and spiderman

**Blondie**: doctor strange ragnarok henry janet and the wasp

**Birdman**: black panther in wakanda shuri okoye killmonger

**America's ass:** captain marvel goose the cat been flying higher further faster

**Mr. Stank**: thanos and infinity war i cant take it anymore

**Everyone**: 

We didn't start the fire  
It was always burnin' since the world's been turnin'  
We didn't start the fire  
But when we are gone  
It will still burn on, and on, and on, and on and on...

We didn't start the fire!

**Mr. Stank**: ok i admit it, that was fun

**Scarlet bitch**: i had a real good time

**Blondie**: yes, we need to do it again.

**Birdman**: NO

**Mama spider**: нет!

**Metal arm**: NO

**Mr. Stank**: NO

**Green bean**: NO

**Scarlet bitch**: NO

**America's ass:** NO

**Katniss**: NO

**Spooderman**: im with thor

**Scarlet bitch**: forget about it. So who won, peter?

**Spooderman**: so i thought about it, and...

I...

Decided...

That...

**Mr. Stank**: ffs kid who won?

**Spooderman**: the winner is...

Everyone! because your singing was so good and i couldn't decide.

Kidding this ending is shitty.

The winner is clint congrats 

**Mr. Stank**: WHAT  


**Mama spider**: THIS IS A SET-UP

**Metal arm:** me and nat will kill whoever is in charge of this

**Katniss**: BAHAHAHAHHA SUCKERSSSS

**America's ass**: congratulations, clint

**Birdman**: im out of here

**Scarlet bitch**: ^

**Green bean**: ^^

**Blondie**: same ^^^ bye, my friends.

**Birdman**: ok, just dont leave the group agai-

**Blondie had left the chat**

**Birdman**: Lovely.

**Spooderman**: Gn guys, ill see you tomorrow 

**Mr. Stank**: goodnight. 

**Metal arm**: goodnight. Btw clint, if you are planning on watching hunger games tomorrow night, then dont expect me to be there.

**Mama spider**: oh youll be there.

**Metal arm**: ill be there.

**America's ass**: goodnight, peter.


	3. Happy Hunger Games!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint won the karaoke competition, so now the avengers have to watch the movie he chose.  
And you can't guess which movie it is. Because it's not in the title. It really isn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * wow hi it took me a long time to write this sorry gays.
> 
> Guys**** wow this autocorrect-
> 
> * Might contain Hunger Games spoilers.

**Everyone is online**

**Spooderman: **everybody WAKE UP

**Mr. Stank: **its fucking 5:30 AM, and its Saturday. Go.To.Sleep.

**Spooderman**: i cant im too excited for today

**America's ass**: what is happening today?

**Katniss**: i cant believe you already forgot, it was just a few hours ago-

**Mama spider**: if you forgot, we are all watching a movie today because the kid decided to make our lives harder than they already are

**Birdman**: ok so what are we watching today?

**Mr. Stank:** maybe we will decide later, and not in FIVE THIRTY AM

**Green bean**: we should watch "dark waters" with mark ruffalo

**Metal arm:** no, we should watch "i, tonya" with Sebastian stan.

**Mama Spider**: but its DC

**America's Ass**: Margot Robbie?

**Mr. Stank**: why are you co-operating-

**Scarlet bitch:** we should watch "wind river" with elizabeth olsen and Jeremy renner.

**Mr. Stank**: no we shouldn't, we should sleep.

**America's ass**: we should watch "gifted" with chris evans

**Mr. Stank**: im giving up. Lets watch "Sherlock Holmes" with RDJ

**Katniss**: no, no, and no, because i am choosing the movie, because i won.

**Spooderman**: so what do you want to watch today?

**Katniss**: Katniss.

**Metal arm**: no.

**Katniss**: yes. We are watching "hunger games" with liam Hemsworth and Jennifer Lawrence.

**Birdman**: liam Hemsworth? And just when thor left to asgard.

**Scarlet bitch**: mystic vibes.

**America's ass**: ive never watched this movie

**Katniss**: great, so we will watch it tonight

**Mama spider**: sadly

**Mr. Stank**: Go BaCk To SlEeP

**Spooderman**: ok boomer

**Everyone is offline**

**Everyone is online**

**Spooderman**: its 9:00 PM and only me, mr stark, and cap are in the living room. Where are you guys?

**Birdman**: being everywhere but there

**Mr. Stank**: sam get your ass over here

**Birdman**: coming, coming...

**America's ass**: where are nat and bucky?

**Mama spider**: here! We are here.

**Metal arm**: phew

**Spooderman**: what were you two doing in there?

**Mama spider**: NOTHING.

**Metal arm**: NOTHING.

**Green bean**: im here

**Spooderman**: im gonna check on wanda and clint.

**Spooderman**: WTF ARE YOU TWO DOING?????

**Mr. Stank**: what are they doing?

**Spooderman**: WANDA IS USING HER POWERS TO MAKE CLINT'S ARROWS GO AFTER HIM

**Mr. Stank**: have you lost your fucking minds?

**America's ass**: clint, wanda, come to the living room. We want to start the movie.

**Scarlet witch**: i have 4 words, peter. Snitches get stiches, bitches.

**Katniss**: yeah what she said.

**America's ass:** ok we are all here now. Can we start already?

**Mr. Stark:** we will, when mister parker will decide to get off the ceiling

**Spooderman**: sorry

**Green bean**: im pressing the play button in 5...

4...

3...

**Mr. Stank**: OMG JUST PRESS THE FUCKING BUTTON

**Green bean**: OK OK

**Katniss**: ALRIGHT KATNISS HERE I COME BABY

**America's ass**: i like these woods

**Katniss**: what is she saying?

**Mama spider**: she is singing

**Katniss**: what is she singing

**Mama spider**: idk, read the subtitles

**Katniss**: I CANT READ THEM IM DEAF

**Scarlet bitch**: clint what the actual fuck

**Mr. Stank**: JFC we just started the movie and sam and bucky are already throwing popcorn at eachother

**Spooderman**: ouch it hit me

**Green bean**: its popcorn how did it even hurt you

**America's ass:** shush let me watch this movie

**Katniss**: EVERYBODY SHUT YOUR MOUTHS SO ILL BE ABLE TO HEAR

**Spooderman:** ok boomer

**Mama Spider**: say "ok boomer" one more time and i swear i will-

**Spooderman**: ok boomer

**Mama spider:** THATS IT, COME OVER HERE U LITTLE-

**Spooderman**: AHHHHHHHH HELP MEEEEEE

**Birdman**: holy fuck 

**Metal arm**: RELAX NATASHA

**Mama spider:** NO HE IS BEING AN ANNOYING TEENAGER

**Mr. Stank**: NATASHA SIT THE FUCK DOWN OR I WILL CUT YOUR HAIR

**Mama spider**: NO BUT I CANT CHANGE MY HAIRSTYLE, NOT BEFORE I HAVE THE SAME ONE ATLEAST 3 DAYS.

**Green Bean**: Yeah, she change it every week

**America's Ass:** we noticed that

**Katniss**: PARKER GET OUT OF THE FRIDGE NOW OR I WILL THROW WANDA ON YOU

**Scarlet bitch**: wait what

**Birdman**: this movie night was a bad idea

**Mr. Stank**: oh you think?

**Spooderman**: I will not get out, not before natasha apologizes. Even if i freeze to death

**Green Bean:** you wont die from freezing in the fridge

**America's ass**: mhm ^

**Metal arm**: mhm ^^

**Green bean**: Nat, apologize.

**Mama spider**: no

**Scarlet bitch**: yes

**Mama spider**: no

**Metal arm**: yes

**Mama Spider**: ok sorry Peter

**Katniss**: great, can we now continue watching the movie

**Mama spider**: ok boomer

**Katniss**: i- WE ARE IN THE SAME FUCKING GENETATION

**Mr. Stank**: just press the play button before i kill myself.

**Katniss**: finally!

_____

**Birdman**: this movie sucks

**Katniss**: Splish splash, your opinion is trash

**America's ass**: sam, it barely even started yet

**Mama Spider**: this katniss girl doesnt even look like her sister nor her mom

**Scarlet Bitch**: ikr

**Katniss**: shhh they are now choosing who will go to the hunger games

**Metal arm**: wow, katniss is going. Shock.

**Mr. Stank**: lmao this peeta guy looks like the kid

**Spooderman**: ikr he actually does look like me

**Green bean**: wow, their mentor is sober.

**Scarlet Bitch:** i like this cinna guy

**America's ass**: yeah he is the only one who is nice to her.

**Spooderman**: OMG HER DRESS IS ON FIRE

**Mama Spider:** what did you say? You want me to set you on fire?

**Metal arm**: im 100% sure thats not what he said

**Katniss**: omg its finally her turn to show how good she is with bow and arrow. Just like me.

**Mama Spider**: i can also set you on fire.

**Katniss**: no thanks ma'am

**Green bean**: did she just-

**Metal arm**: what a badass.

**Spooderman**: she shot the apple

**Scarlet bitch**: and she bowed.

**America's ass**: this girl is on fire. Literally.

**Birdman**: lmao i like this caecar

**Mr. Stank**: he is like today's Jimmy Fallon

**America's ass**: who

**Metal arm**: you dont know Jimmy Fallon?

**Spooderman**: he is the one who sang "we didnt start the fire" and "marvel bunch" with us

**America's ass**: oh yeah right that guy

**Spooderman**: OMG THE GAME IS ABOUT TO START

**Katniss**: from here the movie just become better ;)

**Mama Spider**: happy hunger games

**Metal arm:** may the odds be ever in your favour

**Spooderman**: OMG SO MUCH BLOOD

**Mr. Stank**: come here kid

**Mama spider:** #irondad

**Spooderman changed Mr. Stank's nickname to "Irondad"**

**Irondad**: that perfectly fits

**America's ass**: she is trying to steal their supplies?

**Katniss**: no, she is trying to blow it up

**Scarlet bitch**: yaaas the queen succeed

**Green bean**: nooo the cute girl died

**Birdman**: its a shame i liked her

**Metal arm**: she is making a funeral for her?

**Mama Spider**: apparently.

**Scarlet Bitch**: thats cute

**Spooderman**: wait, so 2 can win now?

**Katniss**: if they are from the same district, yes.

**Irondad**: ooo she found peeta

**America's** **ass:** and now she is kissing him

**Spooderman**: ewwwww

**Birdman**: how about you grow up

**Irondad**: how about you shut the fuck up

**Mama Spider**: liam or gale or whatever seems jealous

**Katniss**: i ran out of popcorn help

**Birdman**: no one cares

**Mama Spider**: its because sam and bucky threw it at each other before

**Metal arm**: its not my fault that cap made a small amount of popcorn

**America's ass**: i actually made a lot but most of it got burnt

**Irondad**: its fucking popcorn how can u burn it

**Green Bean**: omg she is going to die noooo

**America's ass**: that girl from district 2 seems strong

**Katniss**: not that strong tho

**Metal arm:** Boom. She is dead.

**Spooderman**: These berries are poisonous!

**Birdman**: what is that huge dog-monkey-puma thingy

**Katniss**: its something special before the game ends

**Mama Spider**: its just the 3 of them now

**Scarlet bitch:** and now its just katniss and peeta

**Irondad**: so they won???

**Metal arm**: i think so

**Spooderman**: Yayayayayayay

**Green bean**: oh they did NOT just do that.

**Katniss**: oh but they did.

**Spooderman**: SO THEY CHANGED THE RULES AGAIN AND NOW ONLY 1 OF THEM CAN WIN?

**Mama spider**: mhm

**Irondad**: omg she has the berries from before

**America's ass:** omg they want to eat them at the same time and die together so no one has to win!!!

**Birdman**: did they just stop them?!?!

**Katniss**: YES THEY DID.

**Scarlet bitch**: so they won?

**Katniss**: YES THEY WON

**Spooderman**: YASSSSS I KNEW IT

**Mama Spider**: awhhh she saw her sister and gale!!

**Katniss**: Lmao natasha has feelings

**Mama Spider:** i can still set you on fire

**America's ass**: i cant believe the movie ended

**Spooderman**: it was so good

**Birdman**: like SOOOO good

**Metal arm**: post credits scene?

**Scarlet bitch**: does it look like a fucking marvel movie?

**Metal arm**: right

**Green bean**: great choice of a movie, clint.

**Irondad**: yes, i admit it, i enjoyed it very much

**Katniss**: another movie night next week?

**Birdman**: NOOOOO

**Scarlet Bitch**: NOOOOO

**Metal arm**: NOOOOO

**Mama Spider**: Yes.

**Metal arm**: Yes.

**Irondad**: can i go to sleep now?

**Spooderman**: yes, can we? Im sooo tired

**Scarlet Bitch**: why are you even asking for permission

**Irondad**: We are afraid of Nat, duh.

**Scarlet Bitch:** oh true

**Mama Spider**: yes, u can. And we can finally go on another round @MetalArm ;)

**Metal arm**: YES.

**Mama Spider**: i mean, to sleep-

**Metal arm**: yeah, to sleep-

**Mama Spider and Metal Arm are offline**

**Spooderman**: wha-

**Irondad**: good night you pair of assassins

**Green bean**: good night

**Katniss**: good night losers

**Mama Spider is online**

**Katniss**: oh no- wjxbu7d2m*;mowjdb+xaj

**Mama Spider is Offline**

**Spooderman**: good night, district avengers.

**America's ass:** good night, peter.

**Everyone is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos! 💕  
And I also hope that that chapter made you wanna watch this movie lol.


	4. Baking time!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers are baking, and, well, they basically destroy the kitchen.  
And, a new addition to the family!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * They play Hangman in this, join them and try to guess the words with them if you wish. 😊  
You can also comment the answers.

**Everyone is online**

**Spooderman:** im hungry

**Irondad**: open the fridge

**Spooderman**: no there is nothing to eat

**Mama Spider**: takeaway, then

**Spooderman**: but i want something sweet

**America's Ass:** then go buy something for yourself

**Spooderman**: im broke

**Irondad**: what-

**Mama Spider**: i have an idea

**Metal arm**: oh no

**Mama Spider**: shut up

**Metal arm**: yes maam

**Mama Spider:** lets bake something

**Birdman**: we will destroy the kitchen

**Scarlet Bitch**: the kitchen will destroy us

**Green bean**: both will happen

**Irondad**: yall are acting like 3 years olds i wouldnt trust you to bake without supervision

**Katniss**: that's why im here

**Scarlet bitch**: dont wanna offend you, but i wouldnt trust you with a spoon. Oh wait i actually do wanna offend you

**Katniss**: rude.

**Spooderman**: YAYAYAY THAT'S A GREAT IDEA LETS BAKEEEEE

**America's ass:** i have no idea how to bake

**Metal arm**: same

**Mama Spider**: we will teach you

**Birdman**: since when do u even know how to bake?

**Mama Spider**: who said i know how to bake?

**Birdman**: Right...

**Scarlet witch**: we are doomed.

**Green bean**: we dont even have eggs, flour, and sugar

**Irondad**: we don't have sugar? wait so what have i been putting in my coffee for the past few weeks

**America's ass**: ok so who is going to buy the ingredients?

**Birdman**: dont look at me, im not going anywhere

**Metal arm**: how do you know we are looking at you, its a fucking chat

**Katniss**: ok, me and nat will go buy the ingredients

**Spooderman**: im coming with you

**America's ass**: ok, who is going to find a recipe?

**Spooderman**: wanda

**Scarlet witch**: do i look like a fucking recipes finder

**Irondad**: well if the recipe is for how to kill people then yes

**Katniss**: no that's natasha's job

**Green** **Bean**: alright, then clint, nat and peter are going to buy the ingredients, and all of us are going to find a recipe

**Birdman**: its a fucking one person job to find one

**Metal arm**: fine, then me, wanda and sam will find a recipe while bruce, cap and tony will clean the kitchen, because it honestly looks like WWIII.

**America's ass:** as someone who has been through the WWII, i will have to agree

**Irondad**: dont fucking volunteer me

**Metal arm**: too late

**Irondad:** fine, its better than going anywhere with clint anyways

**Katniss**: hey!

**Mama Spider**: peter, clint, lets go.

**Spooderman**: COMING AUNTIE NAT

**Irondad**: why are you so excited about this

**America's ass**: dont destroy his innocence, tony.

**Everyone is offline**

**Mama Spider added Katniss, Spooderman to the group chat "two spiders and a mocking jay"**

**Spooderman**: How long till we get to the grocery store?

**Mama Spider**: about 3 minutes

**Katniss**: there is a bakery 2 blocks away from here, why won't we just buy a cake and go back

**Spooderman**: because then i won't bake :(

**Mama Spider**: because then he won't bake :(

**Spooderman**: and i wanna bake.

**Mama Spider**: he wanna bake.

**Katniss**: and i wanna eat a cake, which is something i won't be doing if you are the one who is baking it.

**Spooderman**: LOOK AT THAT!!! A STRAY DOG!!! Omg it is so cute

**Mama Spider**: Awh.

**Katniss**: omg it is so cute

**Mama Spider**: i think it is a he

**Spooderman**: OMG CAN WE ADOPT HIM PLZPLZPLZPLZPLZPLZ

**Mama Spider**: i would say yes, but tony will kill us all

**Spooderman**: since when he is making decisions for you?

**Mama Spider**: you are right lmao lets take him

**Spooderman**: YAY

**Katniss**: YAY

**Spooderman**: im gonna call him... Peter Barker.

**Mama Spider**: we are not calling him peter barker

**Katniss**: why? I like this name

**Mama Spider**: you dont get to choose

**Katniss**: yes sir

**Mama Spider**: im a ma'am

**Katniss**: yes ma'sir

**Mama Spider**: what-

**Spooderman:** im gonna call him loki

**Mama Spider:** omg yes

**Katniss**: lol when i played the sims 4 my dog's name was loki. 

**Spooderman**: awhhh. And how old is he now?

**Katniss**: idk, dead? I forgot to feed him

**Spooderman**: why didn't you use the "make happy" cheat like all of us

**Katniss**: there was a-

**Spooderman**: and you call yourself a sims 4 player? You are not more than a mobile sims player.

**Katniss**: ouch.

**Mama Spider**: alright, we are here. Let's get in. Peter, put loki in the bag so no one will know we let him in.

**Spooderman**: OK AUNTIE NAT

**Metal arm added Scarlet bitch, Birdman to the group chat "the falcon and the winter soldier, and the witch girl who is having a weird ass tv series with vision"**

**Birdman**: dont you think this name is a little bit long?

**Metal arm**: dont you think the time we know each other and dont want to kill one another is a little bit long?

**Birdman**: what-

**Scarlet Bitch**: lmao yes i support this energy

**Birdman**: no-

**Scarlet bitch**: ok, tell me what we are doing in the dining room again?

**Metal arm**: we are going to eat

**Scarlet Bitch**: excuse me but ive never even seen one person eating in the dining room. Everyone are always eating in the kitchen

**Birdman**: thats true.

**Metal arm**: i was kidding, we are not here to eat, we are here to find a recipe. And we are not doing that in the kitchen because there, I couldnt hear anything else except tony complaining about his nails getting destroyed because of the soap.

**Scarlet Bitch**: lmao he just screamed again

**Metal arm**: ok lets take out out phones and search for a recipe

**Birdman**: we are using then now...

**Metal arm**: oh right. Lets take the laptop then. We need to find a recipe fast

**Scarlet bitch**: look at you mr. responsible

**Metal arm**: you both know very damn well that im doing this because i dont wanna die by natasha's hands

**Birdman**: that's not true, she can also kill you with a gun, and then it wont be by her hands.

**Scarlet bitch**: you are an idiot, sam

**Birdman**: i know

**Metal arm**: ok so what kind of cake do we want

**Scarlet Bitch**: red velvet!!!

**Birdman**: chocolate!!!

**Scarlet Bitch**: ew youre basic

**Metal arm**: how about an orange cake?

**Scarlet bitch**: bucky what the fuck

**Birdman**: how old are you, 100?

**Metal arm**: well yes

**Scarlet Bitch**: lets just go with red velvet.

**Birdman**: ugh fine, but if something goes wrong we will blame you

**Scarlet bitch:** the avengers are baking a cake, you can be well damn sure something will go wrong.

**Metal arm**: lmao we will probably burn the kitchen

**Birdman**: lol ikr

**Scarlet bitch**: ok lets find a good recipe.

**Birdman**: ooo i found something good!

**Scarlet bitch**: read the ingredients

**Birdman**: 3 cups of flour

**Scarlet bitch**: alrighty

**Birdman**: 2 eggs

**Scarlet bitch**: ok

**Birdman**: 2 cups of sugar

**Scarlet** bitch: Mhm go on

**Birdman**: and 1 cup of coffee mixed with cinnamon powder-

**Scarlet bitch**: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT, A RECIPE FOR DEATH?

**Metal arm**: im pretty sure thats not a red velvet cake recipe, sam

**Birdman**: ok i found another one

**Metal arm**: read it

**Birdman**: 3 cups of flour

**Metal arm**: continue

**Birdman**: 1 cup of milk

**Metal arm**: yes and?

**Birdman**: 1/2 cup of cocoa powder-

**Scarlet** **Bitch**: WE ARE NOT MAKING A CHOCOLATE CAKE YOU LITTLE FUCK

**Birdman**: WHATS WRONG WITH A CHOCOLATE CAKE 

**Scarlet** **bitch**: WE DONT WANT A CHOCOLATE CAKE, WE WANT RED VELVET

**Metal arm**: that will be a long night...

**Green Bean added America's Ass, Irondad to the group "Scientists and an experiment"**

**America's ass**: wow, the name-

**Irondad**: lmao an experiment

**Green bean**: come on, we dont have time to waste. We need to clean the kitchen.

**America's ass:** its very messy and disgusting

**Green bean**: so ill do the dishes, you will arrange stuff and put them in their place, and tony will clean the island, so we can make the batter on it later.

**Irondad**: Bruce honey you live in a fantasy world if you think ill touch this coronavirus

**America's ass**: lets just get to work

**Irondad**: its easy for you to say, you got the easiest job

**Green bean**: and i got the hardest, so suck it up and take that sponge

**Irondad**: ewww omg this island smells like toes

**Green bean**: these dishes smells like pasta with fishes

**America's ass**: these coffee sack smells like- well... Coffee...

**Green bean**: why do we have so much coffee?

**Irondad**: its mostly mine, i drink a cup 11 times a day

**America's ass**: 11 times a day?!?!

**Irondad**: well yeah, but sometimes i use red bull as the water for my coffee so in that case i drink 10

**America's ass:** wha-

**Green bean**: tony are you alright-

**Irondad**: im better then ever. Hey, where did i put my "monster" energy drink? Im sure i only drank 7 today and I haven't finished the last one...

**Green bean**: you need help

**America's ass**: ohhh so there is my sock!

**Irondad**: where was it?

**America's ass**: inside the cereal box

**Green bean**: remind me not to eat that for breakfast tomorrow

**Irondad**: OMG EW I GOT DUST UNDER MY NAILS

**America's ass:** dust? Aren't we eating on that island everyday?

**Irondad**: ...

**Irondad**: then what the fuck did i just touch

**Green bean**: why cant people just do their dishes when the finish eating

**America's ass**: why cant people put stuff in their place after they are done using them

**Irondad**: why cant i go do something else instead of cleaning the stupid kitchen

**America's ass**: because the kid wants a cake

**Irondad**: right, lets continue cleaning.

**Green bean**: #irondad

**America's ass**: #irondad

**Irondad**: well wbk

**Two spiders and a mocking jay**

**Mama Spider**: ok boys, lets get in. And only take things we actually need.

**Katniss**: can we buy some apples

**Mama Spider**: do we need some apples?

**Katniss**: well no but-

**Mama Spider**: SO DONT ASK ME IF WE CAN BUY THE FUCKING APPLES

**Spooderman**: omg loki escaped the bag and opened that milk carton

**Katniss**: and now he is drinking the milk

**Mama Spider**: omg pick him up before we get kicked out

**Spooderman**: ok but i dont promise he wont do it again

**Mama Spider**: clint, what is the first thing me need?

**Katniss**: flour

**Mama Spider**: why would i buy a flower

**Katniss**: flour not flower you- kwmf8s@bsn&ophm

**Spooderman**: and you thought we will get kicked out because of loki

**Mama Spider**: his name is honestly still weird

**Mama Spider**: ok i got the flour, what now?

**Katniss**: eggs

**Mama Spider**: you sure need them lol

**Katniss** i-

**Mama Spider**: be quite before i throw these eggs on you

**Spooderman**: wanda just texted me that we will be making a red velvet cake

**Mama Spider**: ok, so we also need red food colouring.

**Katniss**: lmao that looks like blood

**Mama Spider**: i told you to shut up didnt i? Soon enough your mouth will also look like blood. Or, it might be dropping off it

**Katniss**: omg-

**Spooderman**: there is the butter

**Mama Spider**: we also need sugar.

**Katniss**: where is the sugar?

**Spooderman**: idk

**Mama Spider**: lets ask someone

**Katniss**: thats not a good idea to let nat-

**Katniss**: oh, she actually seems very calm.

**Spooderman**: did he just tell her that he doesn't know-

**Katniss**: oh no-

**Spooderman**: omg dont hit him dont hit him dont hit him

**Spooderman**: oh no loki-

**Katniss**: is he biting him-

**Spooderman**: yes-

**Katniss**: well that's better than natasha hitting him

**Natasha**: ok i just took the sugar from the man's hands lets go pay before we get kicked out

**the falcon and the winter soldier, and the witch girl who is having a weird ass tv series with vision**

**Scarlet Bitch: **ok i found a good recipe

**Metal arm:** finally

**Birdman**: but i wanted a chocolate cake!!!

**Scarlet bitch**: no one cares about what you want

**Metal arm**: that's true.

**Birdman**: 😡😡😡

**Scarlet bitch**: ok what now?

**Metal arm**: let's g-

**Birdman**: why is tony screaming again

**Metal arm**: I meant to say, let's go-

**Scarlet Bitch**: no he will just never shut up

**Metal arm**: omg lets tell him to be a little more quite

**Birdman**: to be very quite

**Scarlet bitch**: im going to tell him

**Metal arm**: please say it nicely

**Scarlet bitch**: I'll do my best.

**Scientists and an experiment**

**Irondad: **OMG MY NAILS ARE IN A SERIOUS DANGER BECAUSE OF YOU ALL

**America's ass**: this is for peter.

**Irondad**: oh right lets continue

**Green Bean**: do you hear what i hear?

**America's ass:** angry footsteps? Yes.

**Green bean**: oh no...

**Avengers Group Chat**

**Scarlet Bitch**: TONY YOU FUCKING PRIMADONNA SHUT THE FUCK UP

**Metal arm**: that was... Well at least you tried.

**Irondad**: NO YOU SHUT UP YOU SEARCHED FOR A RECIPE WHILE I DIED FROM CLEANING THE STUPID DIRTY ISLAND

**Scarlet bitch:** YEAH? WELL SAM IS MORE STUPID, AND MORE DIRTY!

**Irondad**: what-

**Birdman**: i-

**Mama Spider:** HONEY, IM HOMEEEE!

**Metal arm**: FINALLY

**Irondad**: i can finally stop cleaning this shit

**America's ass:** language!

**Irondad**: for one hour we were switching F words with each other, and when i say shit you say it?

**America's ass**: not infront of the kid!

**Spooderman**: i am the kid

**Scarlet bitch**: yes you are

**Green bean**: are we ready to start already?

**Irondad**: yes i think we are-

**Irondad**: what was that?

**America's ass**: was that a-

**Scarlet bitch**: omg-

**Mama Spider**: peter, run!

**Irondad**: OH GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE-

**Birdman**: someone film this, we might need to give it to the police as an evidence of the murder

**America's Ass**: what have you done

**Spooderman**: i may or may not have adopted loki

**Irondad**: loki?

**Katniss**: the dog, his name is loki

**Irondad**: you may, or you haven't?

**Spooderman**: i may haven't

**Irondad**: parker i swear to god

**Spooderman**: mr stark, look at him! He is so cute and fluffy!!

**Mama Spider**: just like you

**Scarlet Bitch**: PeTeR BaRkeR

**Irondad**: peter i cant believe you adopted a dog

**Spooderman**: natasha gave me permission to bring him home!!!

**Mama Spider**: i am being incriminated

**Metal arm**: natasha, who will take him down for walkes, and feed him?

**Mama Spider**: everyone but me

**Spooderman**: i will!!!

**America's Ass**: i think we can trust him to do it

**Irondad**: i cant trust him to lock the door before he leaves, how will i trust him with a dog

**Green Bean**: and especially with one named loki

**Spooderman**: please mr stark!!!!

**Irondad**: i dont know...

**Spooderman**: look at him!

**Spooderman**: look at me!

**Spooderman**: look at him!

**Spooderman**: look at me!

**Spooderman**: look at him!

**Spooderman**: look at m-

**Irondad**: OMG OK YOU CAN KEEP HIM, JUST PLEASE STOP

**Spooderman**: mission complete

**Mama Spider**: high five

**Katniss**: ew dont do this peter, you dont know where her hands had been in- jshph@ziskak6b&$a&snvz

**Mama Spider**: BUCKY LET GO OF ME, I NEED TO KILL THAT BITCH

**Metal arm**: that isnt a good idea

**Birdman**: its not safe for us to be here with natasha, and you think its safe for the dog?

**Irondad**: im sorry i couldnt say no to that face, peter looked at me like the cutest kid ever i cant omg

**Scarlet bitch**: ugh ffs

**Everyone is offline**

**Everyone is online**

**America's ass**: remember to wash your hands before you start. And im saying this to you, clint.

**Katniss**: hey!!

**Birdman**: how do u break eggs without the shell falling to the bowl

**Scarlet bitch**: YOU WILL DESTROY MY CAKE 

**Irondad**: relax wanda

**Green Bean**: where is the sugar?

**Mama Spider:** im sure i stole it from a guy's hands...

**Metal arm**: you did what-

**Spooderman**: oh no-

**Irondad**: ...

**Irondad**: PARKER TAKE YOUR DOG OUT OF THE BOWL

**Spooderman**: oops

**America's Ass:** great, now we need to start over!

**Birdman**: OH YOU LITTLE SHIT, TELL ME YOU DIDNT JUST DO WHAT I THINK YOU HAVE DONE

**Metal arm**: i actually did

**Birdman**: OHHHHHH YOU ARE SO DEAD

**Katniss**: OUCH IT HIT ME

**Metal** **arm**: YOU CANT GET ME, SAM

**Green** **bean**: omg stop throwing eggs on each other

**Mama** **Spider**: i cant believe im dating this idiot

**Katniss**: i cant believe you are dating this idiot

**Mama** **Spider**: OH I DARE YO TO SAY IT AGAIN MISTER ABOUT-TO-BE-DEAD

**Katniss**: im running

**Mama** **Spider**: you better 

**Green** **bean**: who is going to clean the floor now?

**Irondad**: dont look at me, my acrilic broke.

**America's** **Ass**: What.

**Mama** **Spider**: clint will clean it

**Katniss**: lmao no way

**Mama** **Spider**: oh you'll do it, or i will-

**Katniss**: I'll do it

**Mama** **Spider**: 😉

**Scarlet** **Bitch**: ok, to make the cake we will need to whisk together the dry ingredients: cake flour, unsweetened cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt.

**America's** **ass**: ok, what now?

**Scarlet** **Bitch**: now we need to add the wet ingredients

**Scarlet** **Bitch**: and for the frosting, we need to... Let me read. "In a large bowl using a handheld or stand mixer fitted with a whisk or paddle attachment, beat the cream cheese and butter together on medium-high speed until smooth, about 2 minutes."

**Scarlet** **Bitch**: ...

**Scarlet** **Bitch**: yeah, im too lazy for that.

**Spooderman**: ill do it!!!

**Irondad**: if youll do it, you might blow up the kitchen

**Metal** **arm**: it doesn't matter who makes the frosting, we will end up burning the kitchen anyways.

**Birdman**: facts

**Spooderman**: im almost finished

**Green Bean**: when did u even start

**Spooderman**: i started after loki ate clint's shoe

**Katniss**: HE DID WHAT

**Mama** **Spider**: BAHAHAHHA

**Birdman**: what now, wanda?

**Scarlet Bitch:** Add food colouring

**America's Ass:** OH NO I GOT IT ALL OVER MY SHIRT

**Mama Spider**: are u sure its not blood?

**Metal arm**: yeah it kinda looks like blood to me

**America's Ass**: why would i have bl-

**Mama Spider**: I ASKED IF ITS BLOOD ROGERS

**America's Ass**: OK OK RELAX IT IS BLOOD OK?

**Mama Spider**:😉

**Scarlet Bitch**: alright now we need to bake it at 400° for 10 minutes.

**Spooderman**: what about 4000° for one minute!

**Amercia's Ass:** no thats not how baking works-

**Irondad**: 400,000° FOR ONE SECOND

**Spooderman**: 4 MILLION FOR MILLISECOND

**America's Ass**: no you are going to burn this place to the ground

**Katniss**: lol just like loki

**Spooderman**: WE'RE GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE SUN

**America's Ass:** PETER NO.

**Irondad**: YOU CANT STOP US STEEB HAHAAHHAHAHA

**America's Ass:** OMG TINY.

**Birdman**: ok what are we gonna do while it's in the oven?

**Green Bean**: play never have I ever.

**Mama Spider**: no, thats a game for another chapter. (winks)

**Katnis**: lets play hangman

**Mama Spider**: how about i hang u instead

**Katnis**: although it sounds lovely, i'll pass

**Birdman**: ok, I'll start. the category is actors

_ _ _ _ - _ _ _ _ _ _ 

**Green Bean**: A

**Birdman**: 

_ _ _ _ - _ a _ _ _ _

**Metal arm**: B

**Birdman**:

B _ _ _ - _a_ _ _ _ 

**America's Ass**: C

**Birdman**: ok saying the ABC is just cheating

**Katniss**: Q

**Mama Spider**: give me one name that have the letter Q in it

**Scarlet Bitch:** Quinn, Qadri...

**Mama Spider**: ok but he didnt think of these

**Katniss**: thats right i didn't think of these

**Birdman**: there is no Q, 1 mistake out of 6.

**Green Bean**: S

**Birdman**:

B_ _ _ - _a_ s _ _ 

**Irondad**: R

**Birdman**: Br_ _ - _ars_ _

**Spooderman**: ohhhh i know who that is!!!

**Birdman**: then say it

**Spooderman**: it's brie larson!!!

**Birdman**: yes!

**America's** Ass: who is she?

**Scarlet Bitch**: the other captain

**America's Ass**: huh?

**Spooderman**: ill do the next one

_ _ _ _ _ - _ _ - _ _ _ _

**Mama Spider**: O

**Spooderman**:

_ _ _ _ _ - O_ - _ _ _ _

**Metal arm**: R

**Katniss**: hey, this is my turn!!!

**Metal arm**: ok, go for it

**Katniss**: R

**Metal arm**: are you FUCKING-

**Spooderman**: 

_ _ r _ _ - O_ - _ r _ _

**Irondad**: P

**Katniss**: i need to pee

**Irondad**: thx for the info

**Spooderman**:

_ _ r _ _ - O _ - Pr _ _ 

**Mama Spider**: B

**Spooderman**: 

B _ r _ _ - O _ - Pr _ _

**Scarlet** **Bitch**: Y

**Spooderman**:

B _ r _ _ - O _ - Pr _ y

**America's ass**: E

**Spooderman**:

B _ r _ _ - O _ - Prey

**Birdman**: is the middle word "of"?

**Spooderman**: yes it is

**Irondad**: something of prey... Hm...

**Mama Spider**: BIRDS OF PREYYY

**Spooderman**: YESSS

**Scarlet Bitch**: im a bitch, im a boss, im a bitch im a boss imma shine like gloss

**Metal arm:** bitch im a cow, bitch im a cow, im not a cat, i dont say meow

**Katniss**: omg dojo cat uwu

**Mama Spider**: what was that ding

**Green Bean**: its the oven

**Scarlet Bitch**: finallyyyyy

**Metal arm**: ill take it out of the oven

**Spooderman**: loki, come here

**Katniss**: he doesn't have a phone he cant read that

**Spooderman**: oh right

**Spooderman**: BUCKY WATCH OUTTTT

**Metal Arm**: oh no-

**Spooderman**: NOOOOOOOOO IM GONNA CRYYYY

**Irondad**: i cant believe he ate the cake

**Spooderman**: i really wanted it 😭😭

**Irondad**: shhh dont worry never mind, come here

**America's Ass**: #irondad

**Irondad**: ill blast u

**America's Ass**: it worth it

**Katniss**: dont worry peter, i got this.

**Spooderman**: what is that?

**Katniss**: i knew we would somehow mess it up, so i bought one in the bakery next to the grocery store when tasha yelled at that cashier

**Mama Spider**: he didnt want to give me another bag. He deserved it.

**Spooderman**: thankyouthankyouthankyou

**America's ass:** it looks so good!

**Spooderman**: lets hope it tastes as good as it looks

**Mama Spider**: oh my, is loki throwing up-

**Metal Arm:** i cant blame him. We made it, it probably tastes like shit

**Scarlet Bitch**: lets try this red velvet cakeee

**Spooderman**: omg its so goooood!!!

**Katniss**: happy you like it

**Irondad**: and im happy when Peter is happy

**America's Ass**: and im happy when you all are happy

**Mama Spider**: and im sad when you all are happy

**Scarlet Bitch**: omg same

**Green Bean**: wow, we really took that cake off

**Birdman**: it's finished

**Metal arm**: well, i think it's bed time now. And when i say bed i mean-

**Mama Spider**: BYE GUYS GOOD NIGHT WOOOO

**spooderman**: ok i think ill call it a night-

**Irondad**: goodnight peter

**Katniss**: wait... Who is gonna clean the vomit?

Everyone is offline

Katniss is online

**Katniss**: guys???

**Katniss**: guys?!?!??!?!!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any suggestions please suggest, that will help me a lot.💕


	5. Beach day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers are going to the beach.  
*Irondad and Spiderson  
*Buckynat  
*And Natasha looks bad in bikinis ✌️😔

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a long time, I'm kinda all out of ideas. If you want to suggest, or if you have any requests, that will be great.

**Everyone is online**

**Spooderman: **its so hotttt omg

**Birdman**: yeah, i really need to cool down

**Katniss**: i have an idea

**Mama Spider**: we dont want to hear your ideas

**Katniss**: fine, stay hot

**Mama Spider**: Oh honey I've been always hot.

**Metal arm:** true. And ive seen it up closely

**America's Ass**: true

**Irondad**: true

**Green Bean**: true

**Metal arm**: wait what-

**Spooderman**: why do you all-

**Scarlet Bitch**: natasha you little...

**Metal arm**: WHAT. EXPLAIN TO ME RIGHT NOW

**Katniss**: anywayssss, i think that the best way to cool down is to go to the beach

**Birdman**: that's actually a great idea

**Katniss**: ofc it is great, this is my idea

**Scarlet Bitch:** yeah, about that...

**Spooderman**: tHATS A GREAT IDEA OMGOMGOMGOMG WE ARE GOING TO THE BEACH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Irondad**: relax, kid.

**Green Bean**: that might be fun.

**5:36 PM: Avengers Group Chat**

**Spooderman**: we are finally here!!!!

**Mama Spider**: what a perfect weather

**America's Ass:** natasha?

**Mama Spider**: yeah?

**America's Ass**: you were right

**Mama spider**: ofc i were, im always right. About what tho?

**America's Ass:** ...

**America's Ass:** you do look terrible in bikinis.

**Mama Spider**: well blame the winter soldier over there

**Metal Arm**: hey it ain't my fault my brain was washed

**Spooderman**: can i get in the water plzzz

**Irondad**: ofc you can, you dont need to ask me for permission

**Spooderman**: ok!

**Spooderman is now offline**

**Irondad**: jUST DONT GO TOO FAR YOU HEAR ME?

**Birdman**: #irondad

**Irondad**: wbk

**Irondad changed Spooderman's nickname to "spider son"**

**Scarlet Bitch**: aww

**Green Bean**: should we join him?

**Irondad**: i mean yeah, we came here for a reason

**Katniss**: hOLY SHIT THE WATER IS COLD

**Spider son is now online**

**Spider son**: oh hey guys. Cute name mr. Stark!

**Irondad**: i knew u would like it

**America's ass**: wait how are we using our phones in-water

**Green Bean**: idk lets just ignore that fact

**Birdman**: who the fuck just splashed me?!

**Metal Arm**: wanda

**Scarlet Bitch**: what the fuck? No i didnt

**Birdman**: I'll kill u bucky

**Scarlet Bitch**: i would love to join you

**Metal Arm**: tasha, hide me

**Mama Spider**: im not hiding you, u splashed sam and then blamed wanda, what were u thinking, that they will say thank you?

**Metal Arm**: ...

**Metal Arm**: well yeah

**Katniss**: *face palm*

**Spider son**: i wonder what loki is doing home alone

**Irondad**: probably destroying our house

**America's Ass**: he cant destroy it more than we do

**Green Bean**: true

**Katniss**: lol

**Everyone is offline**

**Everyone is online**

**Spiders son:** Mr. Stark, can we get ice cream?

**Irondad**: sure, anyone wants too?

**America's Ass:** no, thank you

**Scarlet Bitch**: i want, im coming with you

**Irondad**: let's go

**Irondad, Spider son, Scarlet Bitch are offline**

**Mama Spider**: The sunset is so beautiful.

**Metal Arm**: just as beautiful as you.

**Mama Spider**: even with that scar on my stomach?

**Metal Arm**: it was just so u can remember me forever

**Mama Spider**: awwww❤️🤧

**Mama Spider**: ajwhsnd7skaua1k

**Metal Arm**: sjski&sjanalapaOt8sq

**Birdman**: maybe you two could kiss a little quieter? Im trying to relax here.

**Katniss**: omg dont you dare disrespect the holy buckynat ship

**Birdman**: huh?

**Green Bean**: *gAsp*

**Birdman**: what-

**America's Ass**: i never thought it would be you out of all people, sam.

**Birdman**: what are you talking about?! You were the one to come up with the romanogers ship!!

**America's Ass**: snitcher

**Metal Arm**: the what now?

**Katniss**: uh oh

**Metal Arm**: you are lucky i can only strangle 1 person with my arm

**Mama Spider**: leave it, honey. They clearly dont deserve to be touched by your cool ass arm

**Metal Arm**: lmao ikr

**Irondad, Spiderson, Scarlet Bitch are online**

**Spiderson**: mr stark, i just asked for a MCflurry...

**Irondad**: and thats what i bought ya.

**Spiderson**: no, u bought me McDonald's...

**Katniss**: a happy meal?

**Scarlet Bitch:** no, the whole company

**Green Bean:** Oh-

**Birdman**: lmfao rich bitch

**Spiderson**: what will i do with it now...

**Irondad**: idk, give the ownership to a friend or something

**Spiderson**: i cant do that, ive already done that last week when you bought netflix. I simply asked for just an account

**Green Bean**: i-

**Mama Spider**: can we go home now? There is sand on my bullet scar and i would like it not to be there

**Irondad**: fine

**Irondad**: but if we go home and i see Loki's pee all over the floor, we are leaving him at carol's house and never coming back for him, and hopefully goose will swallow him whole. MY CARPETS ARE A LIMITED EDITION.

**spiderson**: wha-

**America's Ass**: i dont think thats how it works tony

**Irondad**: idc, i miss the white fur carpet i had :(

**Katniss**: lol it is yellow now

**Birdman**: thats not funny, i am the one who ended up cleaning it

**Metal Arm**: and thats a great punishment for disrespecting the holy buckynat ship

**Spiderson**: HE DID WHAT?!?!?!?

**Mama Spider**: i know, kid. Its a lot to process

**Spiderson**: im disappointed

**Scarlet Bitch**: CAN WE GO HOME ALREADY?!?!

**Spiderson**: awh, ill miss the beach ;(

**Irondad**: dont worry, we will go whenever you want!

**Katniss**: NO

**America's Ass**: NO

**Scarlet Bitch**: NO

**Green Bean:** NO

**Birdman:** NO

**Mama Spider:** нет

**Metal Arm**: NO

**Everyone is now offline**

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my story!  
Kudos and comments makes me happy!😍❤


End file.
